Hey yooo, new update. Guess what, CMCO started again and we became an unwanted children againnnn.
I am currently finishing up my second posting in O&G in Hospital Shah Alam. The dream team of Mark, me , ain and ezzlyn have broken up so sad. However, the good thing now probably would be the abundance of PMC ppl in HSAS. Currently in O&G, I have Fatin Faizul with meee haha. She was definitely a great help to my early life in HSAS. Also, Wei Jin also helped make me feel much more comfortable there. I am already three months into O&G as I went to HSAS so I went there being a senior in O&G already, its kinda weird. I know the stuff from O&G but the system cracked my brain up. Especially like who was in charge of what. It started off really frustrating cause it seemed like a lot of work. The way they arranged the jobs was a bit questionable. Some were better than in HSB but it definitely needed getting used to.
Don't know if it's the new environment or not, the dread to go to work is even stronger now. It's shitttt. I would be even dreading like the day before work. Probably cause of the workload as well and it's getting a lot to handle cause of the Sungai Buloh cases piling on as well. Getting used to the system is taking a bit out of me as well. Not to mention some of the housemen here that are awfully malignant. Even for a first poster. Like seriously, cut it back a bit. No one is a fantastic houseman in their first month. The fact that people have the balls to ask how to do anything means they wanna learn. So it really isn't that hard to ask right? Pipe it down. I just kept telling myself its only 3 more weeks. Will be done in exactly 18 days (when I'm typing this lol). Don't know if I actually want it to end faster or not. Starting a new rotation comes with new challenges, and oh god the tagging. THE TAGGING. Those ungodly hours again. Don't know where I'm heading to next tho. Hmmm... Probably going to be medical based again since I'm already done with a surgical posting. Which pretty much means I'm going to be in medical next. We shall see. Will apply for my EOP leaves soon tho. Was initially planning to get a trip up to Penang again, but with the CMCO again right now, don't think that will actually happen at all.
Next, let's talk about this CMCO. It is honestly a big ass joke. Work from home is pretty much mandatory. Fine I get that. We get to dine in which is good and good for business all around. What I don't get is we can't watch movies in cinemas yet malls remain open. People still go to the malls and if you are really putting a CMCO in effect, and the mall cluster is the biggest in Selangor, why do u even bother to keep the CMCO on? Cinemas are dying, people are losing their jobs, cases are still on the rise, politicians still be fighting over power at these times. honestly this CMCO is going nowhere in my opinion and is making everyone's lives hard, other than the politicians, who are still enjoying life from all the meetups and dinners and shit. It's so disheartening to see people getting retrenched left right and centre. So either u go for a complete lockdown again, or suffer economic burnout for dragging out this CMCO. Unpopular opinion, open up CMCO and get life to continue as usual. That way everyone gets primary immunity, while u make sure the susceptible population stay home and protected, in a way. Sounds good on paper but will probably involve alot of deaths lol. I mean, better than dragging this shit out and looking at Sabah collapsing is just, sad. It's real sad.
In other news, Abigail and I talked recently again after like a month of not talking? Partially cause she is happily with someone else now and I don't wanna stir shit up by being that ex who constantly keeps in touch with their ex. Just causes alot of unnecessary drama especially for some people who aren't keen on exes being friends. It's honestly been a year plus of being single now and can't lie that I don't look back at the past 4-5 years. Housemanship has been tough as u can read from my blog posts. Thought it would be ok for me since I considered myself a happy go lucky person, but I guess it's finally taking a toll on me in a way. I do have moments that I dread going to work, even if this is only my second posting and I tend to do OK in the hospital? I can't even explain why exactly I feel that way, probably cause of the fear of MOs berrating at me, I dunno. The workload in Shah Alam is no joke as well due to the increased patient visits so that's hard. Back to the relationship part, people keep asking me do I not see anyone that interests me in the hospital? Back in Sungai Buloh probably 1 or 2, but they are unavailable or can't due to complex religious issues (which I really don't want to revisit). So, short answer would be no, no one, Plus, probably not alot of people's cup of tea. I'm literally a stick right now, being like 55kg, lost about 5kg since HO started, no thanks to the amazing meal times I have (oh wait they pretty much don't exist). Also, probably another reason is the fact that I'm probably immature in alot of people's eyes. I'm the guy who skips down the hallway flinging my arms here and there like I don't care about anything in the world, which is partially true cause I don't actually care what other people think of me that much, which serves as a double edged sword. So until someone really likes me, I'll probably be single for a while. Can't say its nice cause over the course of HOship, was hoping that I have someone close to rant to, to just hang out and forget about the hospital for a bit. Don't know if its the MCO or what, but that's even hard to come by, just like a good ol hug ya know.
More on the part where I tend to look back at past memories. Probably people who really know me know that I'm a person that likes to hold on to memories. I still have a box specifically for Abby and I's relationship with all the tickets, the souvenirs and stuff all in it. That's the problem. I think I live too much in the past. I think about the trips we go to in Singapore eating food, the places that I brought her to eat here in Malaysia, even while jogging I think about that 10km Mo Run in Dublin. It's bad for me. It honestly is because I'll be the person longing for things to go back to then while everyone else has moved on. I still have picture of JY and me stored up in another box, but she is already happy with her current bf as well. Everyone moved on and I'm the dumbass holding on to those moments and not letting go. I think the problem would be me cherishing those moments a bit too much, that I constantly like relive those moments while doing anything that is similar to those moments. Really need to start looking forward. I watch so many Singaporean Youtubers as well like NOC Food Kings, our grandfather story, Eatbook etc. It gets hard cause I start wondering when can I go to Singpoare again. Now, there just isn't any reason to anymore and its hard. I am unsure that I miss the city or miss the relationship, Anyhow, Abigail has moved on, JY has moved on (not that we ever started even lol). It really is time for me to move on.
So hopefully I end on a good note here in Hospital Shah Alam. It is a nice place but just needs getting used to their systems again. Will update when I'm feeling more pensieve again. Till then, take care, don't get Covid. Love y'all. :)
As usual I try to end with some photos now so, here goes! :DD Last few days in O&G HSB :)
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