L Hey hey, it's been a good 3-month break from blogging and I'm back. From the looks of my hit count above, no one else has visited this blog other than me HAHA oh well, kinda expected tbh. So here I am sitting down in front of my laptop after 2 months of being a MO to reflect. Haven't got to update my current status so here it goes. Hi I'm Dr Yeo, currently a floating MO in O&G HSgB. Before any of you ask, no I did not ask for this, but this guy forgot to apply for his floating position, hence was practically dumped to O&G. Luckily Hana was already here so I was pleased with that, plus Ain, Beckie and Shanna came along with me so at least I didn't felt alone. Meanwhile, Shing Li managed to get into medical.
On a quick recap, I did mention I was starting my MRCP prep, cause I was planning to do it in May with Shing, but guess who had to back out as soon as he found out he was going to O&G. Not doing O&G for a year plus and suddenly had to be thrown back to do O&G as a MO. I'll be the clueless guy walking around the ward. Hence, I had to study O&G stuff, so Shing proceeded for MRCP on her own. I basically just burnt money on Pastest HAHA. In the end, I barely did 5% of the whole question bank? Yeah was quite bad at discipline. Anyway, now that I'm a MO, the timetable basically works 8-5 unless when you are oncall. I've been put part of the O&G covid team since the beginning and currently still am (although covid patients are dwindling down and that's a good sign overall for the community). Being put in the covid team basically also neuters ur knowledge tbh. You are basically stuck with maternal tachycardia for 90% of the cases and most of them come down with adequate hydration or with natural progression of Covid. Occasionally one or two you get pulmonary embolisms and even then, it's not massive that requires interventional radiology for embolectomy that kind. So tbh have been going through a bit of brain drain. Although there are the occasional oncalls down in the labour room which are really helpful at making me feel like the dumbest person ever. To be honest, after becoming MO, I felt like I was much more knowledgeful when I was a HO, definitely. Secondly, the job scope tbh hasn't changed that much. We don't actually have enough HOs to go around so you have to see cases yourself as well, type them into the system (double work, just basically HSgB style lol), and sometimes take blood and deliver babies. Do rounds yourself, basically HO 2.0, cause you have to discuss cases with senior MOs as well. Then there is the extra factor of politics within the MO group as well that I won't really wanna go into la. Fast forward to now that it's 2 months in. I've tried to learn antenatal scans, and it's been a challenging road. By no means am I good at it now. Heck, half the time I'm still wondering if I'm really measuring the femur lol. Still, a long way to go for that. Delivered a few babies now, but I still need to learn about perineum repair. It's always been a challenge for me since HO days as suturing really isn't my strong suit. Hence, happy to have senior MOs and also JMs teaching me, still need to practice a lot tho.
Now recently got into a little bit of hot water as a MO. The first event I would say that legit got me worried. So, our ward has clinic duties as well, so I've been learning to see clinic patients over the past few weeks as well. Our clinic isn't fully operational as of now. I attended to a patient with a previous scar done in a private hospital and had to decide on a mode of delivery. To be honest, it was my first patient to decide the mode of delivery, and I basically took the patient's word for it that the op was uneventful and subsequently counselled for VBAC vs LSCS. Even my senior Kak Raf was there to help me council. However, the patient had uncontrolled PIH and hence was admitted to HR after d/w the consultant oncall. He did mention not to include anything about the mode of delivery as that will be decided by the specialist in the HR, hence I deleted everything about the consultation and the plan was just to send the patient to HR. A week later, the patient was admitted for leaking and when the specialist attended the patient she was curious as to who counselled the patient as no documentation was in the system. I was called down and the whole situation was explained. Long story short I got screwed for a DANGEROUS counsel for VBAC because I wasn't sure on the operation report. Honestly, I based it off the 2nd laparotomy one for adhesions and the patient's word of mouth that the op was uneventful. So that was definitely a learning point. Trace op notes and document. Will rmb till I die lol. Got screwed by the specialist was not fun, really screws up your confidence. Dahlah you know you don't really know enough of O&G, now your confidence level keeps taking a beating, really starts instilling fear whenever you have to present a case and all. So it's nice to have this weekend off after being oncall for so many weekends. Kinda sucks nowadays as specialists are ramping up and being more strict on MOs. Focus turns to the juniors and the seniors guiding them. Indirectly the pressure trickles down to the junior MOs cuz u know, there barely are any HOs. LOL Hopefully I manage to regain confidence and be a better MO I guess. It's a steep learning curve definitely.
Regarding the future, I have no idea when the placement will come. I did put in my selections. Top three were Selangor, Perak, and Penang. You want justifications? I honestly have next to none for them HAHA. I kinda filled in the form a lil too late. Selangor is a no brainer, it's like 99% won't get one. Next is Perak, it's nearer, and I've heard good things I feel. However, will need to crank up my shitty Cantonese, which will be an obstacle I can foresee. Next on the choice is Penang (which I hope dear God not PGH). Hahaha, I studied there, my mum is from there, I have family members there. I dunno I think it's possible although with my mental scar there, shouldn't really be an issue. That being said I'm like 75% sure I'm gonna head over to East Malaysia. Plus, being a half baked Covid MO, I can literally say I am like next to useless. So going there will be good to pick up skills, but honestly I wish I'm a better MO, although I have been really lazy since becoming a MO. I have studied a bit but gosh my focus is totally not sustained. Even typing this blog post took almost a whole day. Hopefully I can get my shit together, and things can be uphill from here. Half of me wish the placement comes earlier because then I can start planning for the long term. The next half of me wish it gets delayed as much as possible. Family and Far are mainly why.
So update on me and Far. Things have been slowly escalating, and honestly everything is going great. Although now we are almost near the endgame, can start to feel maybe we are both pulling back a bit. This might be my brain going on overdrive and overanalyzing things AS USUAL, but this was the vibe I got... We did go on regular dates and just impromptu ones which are always fun. Sometimes may not have anything to say, but it's just nice walking or sitting beside each other. It's one thing that is just indescribable and just feels so right. Challenges for us remain and it will never go away. Stares are common, from restaurant go-ers to mall patrons, to cashiers. It all doesn't go away. Not sure if Far notices it, or just the stares are mainly on me HAHA. Honestly I ignore them, but u can feel them staring down ur neck LOL. It's fine. Just stare back at them and that usually does the trick xD We had some talks about religion, especially during Ramadhan month and I'm glad she was accepting of my "liberal" thoughts, especially onto a strict religion such as Islam. She has been really cool honestly. There are times that she gets down about her dad and I try my best to let her process them. It's tough to be her really. Everyone expects her to be ok and it doesn't give her space to grieve at all. The grief will always be there, can't expect it to just go missing. Just wish people would be more understanding and back off from their expectations. Oh well, but sometimes I really wish I can do more for her just to lift that burden. Let's not discuss anything about the end until it comes. I know its stupid to feel sad for something that has been in the books since before we even started. But since it's almost like July, can't help to start to feel it you know. The impending sadness. Will be down and out for a bit I think lol. It's just that we are comfortable just hanging out. This is no doubt the least physical relationship I've had (no duh), but in a way it's actually quite enjoyable (with occasional frustratingness) HAHA!! Let's just let life continue on until it decides to blow up in my face. Meanwhile, I'm gonna enjoy every second of it :))
That's it for now I guess, the usual would be some photos hehe so stay tuned and I'll catch you guys (I'm saying like there actually is even anyone else) later. Take care peeps <3
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