Year of Revelation

Only the second post of the year and it's only 4 days away till the start of a new decade. Yes, I've agreed so many times that I've slacked too much on my blogging habits it's just sad at this point.

I just finished my caroling session with The Singaholics after like 5 years of absence and the feeling was actually quite great. Think I needed it to reconnect with people from choir cause it certainly has been a while and the company was really good. The joy of performing as well. Gosh, it's been so long! Plus, it's fun to know a few new people like Shin Pey and Venice who are like super young hahaha compared to the old relics like Jie Ying, Ting Jia, Calvin and I. The whole process was definitely enjoyable! I even just realized that one of the pianists Julin was actually my childhood friend's sister. Which was like a major WTF moment when it came to light. Not to mention the 96s who basically planned the whole caroling gig together. Nice to try and get to know the juniors more like Hui Yi, Pei Lin, Xi Rong... Just to name a few la :D

Other than that, I worked 2 months in a PR firm and have been doing odd jobs here and there just to get some income and make me feel less guilty about staying home ya know. It's honestly nicer to have like a proper 9-5 job so that I can get into a routine unlike now where everything is like topsy turvy and it kinda feels like my life is a mess. But as I typed this blog post and procrastinated for the past few days, it is currently the last day of the year already. These past few days have been quite meh to be honest no thanks to my AGE episode I guess, not sure if it actually is just been pooping water. Yeah... it hasn't been the greatest.

So looking back at this year, I graduated medical school only to find out that the job prospect is getting shittier and shittier. Should I have applied back to Dublin? God knows honestly at this point. Might have regretted not applying but it would have meant another year waiting as well, so ok let's hope MOH treats me well next year.  (Midway typing this, it is now the 1st of January of 2020, this is how badly I procrastinate ladies and gentleman, it makes me wanna smack myself in the head. SO HARD) So career aspect wise, all I can do right now is cross my fingers and hope everything works out for me. I might not be the brightest kid out there (Vivien pretty much grounded all of us by just showing how incredible she is lol), but hell I should really put in the effort this year to actually push myself since the future is getting so bleak. I might be helping out my college to recruit some poor souls into the medical field as well for money so I guess I will update on how that is after a while.

Let's not forget the big "highlight" of this year was pretty much the breakup. Have to say adjusting life back to being single was definitely not the easiest thing. It was a void that had to be filled someway or somehow like you just lose someone you constantly talk to and share pretty much everything with. It's been like what 5 months since the breakup? Can't say that I'm 100% the same as I was before cause I dunno, still can't get over this spitefulness I have over Christianity. I just still can't get over the fact of the inferiority complex that surrounds it like jeez. I support all religions as pretty much no religion teaches bad things (this might be debatable), but it's like join us or perish in the fires of Tartarus. =.= Will really need to learn to get over this one day. Really. Think it's hurting the way I look at people too. Abigail and I are definitely still friends and I don't see a reason for us to stop being friends really, and she is busy with her houseman-ship too so all the best to all of us who are gonna go through the gauntlet! :D

Moving forward, I guess this year would definitely get worse and worse as it goes by cause, first of all, we still don't have our flying car hmmm... ok just a casual jibe at Wawasan 2020 to start off the future lul. OKAY! So yeah, houseman-ship starts in about 2 or 3 months. Am I ready for it? Probably not since I've pretty much forgotten a lot of stuff. The thing that scares me the most really is when I'm supposed to be on call in the ward alone with my MO being MIA, and a critical thing happens. This is why, I'm gonna make it a thing to actually revise all my blood investigation interpretations, especially ABGs and god don't even get me started on those blood taking skills. It will be awful. To the first few months of patients that will have to endure my tremor, I am so sorry. I do notice my tremors are getting more apparent, which does bring up more flags and hopefully it isn't due to hyperthyroidism which I've been suspecting for years just lazy to do any tests. So here is to hope that the tremor resolves itself by the time I start my houseman.

As for relationships, I guess I will see how life brings me about? I don't really know what to do now since I haven't actually confirmed where am I going to do my HO-ship. If the government is hell-bent on cutting my pay then of course I'll stay nearer to home, but if not probably I could still venture out. So that leaves the question hanging to if I even do get a girlfriend now, where would we end up? This whole doctor thing basically casts a giant question mark on my life so that's why I wanted my other half to at least be in the same field cause if not it's gonna be very difficult really. Am I seeing anyone now? No. Although just chilling and talking with someone now and see how the whole conversation goes. We shall see about this one haha, doesn't seem to be going anywhere tho xD Too long off this game I can't read signs anymore. Anyhow, can just be friends anyway hehe :) Slowly ba, 顺其自然. Everything should work out deee... hehe :D

I think that's all I have to say for now, it's nothing much really just decided to do some quick update about my life as part of my mini-reflection for the end of the year. In the end, this post didn't reveal as much reflection as much as I thought it would, partially cause I think I did it on my own when I was having my AGE episodes HAHAHA! Yeah, hopefully will get to more blog posting this year (pretty sure everyone would roll their eyes by looking at this now cause I've said it SO. MANY. TIMES) and to less procrastination definitely. See you guys real soon aite :) <3 p="">